A Reflection...

While cleaning out my desk I found my Life's Reflection titled "Did I Answer My Calling" that I wrote my senior year of high school (2002) for my Death and Dying class at St. Joseph's High School. For the class I basically I had to plan my own funeral and write somewhat of a Eulogy. Here's what I wrote:

" Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you." (Romans 12:1-3)

Idealizing or envisioning one future self is a difficult task, because we constantly change and grow. Our passions fade or grow according ot the goals we pursue or the influences we have based on our individual experiences. But right now, I wish to be remembered as someone who was truly authentic. One who exhibited sincerity in everything I expressed to whomever I encountered. One who lived with integrity, never wavering from God's vision for my life. I want to be known as one who truly tried to be a disciple and a light unto this world. All things considered, I want to have lived by the given passage above.

Authenticiy is hard to come by in this present world. Standards are set according to what the world expects of people and sad to say, it doesn't expect much. We are only expected to live life for ourselves, however that may be. Selfishness keeps humanity from reaching its full potential. We are only expected to accept whatever the world puts in front of us. I do not want to have been a person who did this, no matter how politcally incorrect I may have been.

I want to have reached a point of selflessness. Not necessarily doing nothing to benefit myself or to further myself in life, but reachind for success with one goal in mind: to have used my talents to answer God's calling to be a living sacrifice. This would entail living according to God's word; knowing it, learning from it, and living by it. Knowing God's word would enable me to know God and by knowing him, I would have had the right mindset to catalyze change in this world and inspire people to reach beyond mediocracy. I would have known how to love unconditionally and to have compassion for everyone I encountered. I would have had faith that I expressed to all with whom I came in contact. I would have been the one who prayed whenever an immediate answer could not be found; always having unwavering faith in God's ability.

Our world has lost faith in God. Society is literally falling apart because while we succeed materialistically, our moral cloth detiriorates. I did not to fall into the gap of materialsm. I would have been the one who shared my whole self (and any extension of that) with all whome I came in contact; my wisdom, God's vision, my challenge to excellence, my heart for God's will and need for His word. A living sacrifice. "

Wow. The basic sentiment of my heart's desires haven't really changed after 6 years of exposure to "the real world". I still yearn to be authentic, to know how to really love people, to know how to honestly give of my every being out of selflessness, to know God's heart and His will for my life and the lifes of other, to encourage others to see past the things that keep them in bondage and see the excellence that God has for them, to be his living sacrifice.