Ready, set, I do

I know , I know...I haven't written in a while. I stopped because I really hadn't felt anything really extraordinaire to write about. News Flash thanks to a Henri Nouwen post, I don't have to be really original or thought provoking...I just have to be willing to share more of myself. So, I'll try.

I've been thinking a lot about love and marriage more recently. A lot of random emotions have come along with this process...I'll save you those details...and kinda just roll with what I've really been musing over more recently...

First, one of the main reasons for this, is because a lot of my close friends have discovered that their love is meant for marriage and are tying the knot this summer. And because studying people and asking lots and lots of questions have always intrigued me...I've had lots of opportunity to observe.

In our Western culture, we have the luxury of picking our mates and deciding when "we are ready" to engage in a covenant that's supposed to last forever. Lucky us right?! Now I all know that this isn't really the case for most marriages when we look at statistics, but that's the hope right? I also know that sometimes some people marry for convenience, or status, or even looks, but that hasn't really been my experience. You know based on that very small focus group, which include the aforementioned couples and adult married couples with whom I'm close"ish".

Honestly, I think I'm more uncertain about how one knows they're ready to be married. I'm sure there are tons of books and lots of authorities on the issue, but really, how do you define readiness?

You can love someone deeply and know for certain of their commitment (because it's so much more than a feeling) and still not be ready.

You can have all the ideal ducks in a row: education finished, finances in order, soul searching completed, all wild oats sown, all the relationship experience in the world...and really still not be ready.

You can be 30+, well established, and well-connected and dating seriously and still not be ready.

I really think I'm gonna need a lot more time to observe and come to a conclusion on this one. This may need to be the thing I need to experience first hand in order to "really know".

Because if there's one thing I have really taken note of each of the couples I've encountered. While their time lines on marriage are all kind of similar, their relationships all look so very different...they're different...and they all just kinda knew...they were ready.