Love oversight...

This is a blog long overdue, as it pertains in part to some of my observations about myself (expectations, understandings, culture, etc) that were HUGELY apparent to me during my time in Oman.
***For those who don't know, I was there June 1-June 18 and so badly want to go back sooner than later***

And yes, I know I haven't written anything about the actual journey...I will, I'm still processing it. I sent a text to my friend saying my process sounded like this "drip, drip, SILENCE, drip, drip, drip, GUSH, drip".

At the very least, I'll say this...the experience was beautiful. And well beauty is in the eye of the beholder right? Our Beholder has very, very unique concepts of beauty. He is beauty and well my time in Oman, was absolutely a small, very heightened and "light speed" experience of what the process of "becoming more like Him" really even slightly looks like...simple reflections of His beauty.

So back to my title right...Love oversight? I just wanted to tell you about some time we spent with a beautiful couple.

They are Omani. They are newlyweds...2 years new. They are our friends.

He is a slim, shortish, very gentle, very kind, very patient, and very friendly man. For work, he's a water sports tour guide of sorts. He has a deep appreciation for the ocean and it's detail. He is very loyal to his family and friends. Even with friends like us who only come to visit for 2-3 weeks out of the year, he drops everything to spend time and catch up on life, and take us out on his boat to teach us how to Knee board.

She has beautiful deep brown eyes, framed by perfect eye brows (all natural since she doesn't thread or wax) a cute button nose, and an amazing smile. This is all you get to see when she's out and about in public, because she's clothed in Abaya and headscarf. However, because I'm a woman and a friend, I got to see the long, gorgeously healthy and wavey, dark brown hair hidden under her scarf. Only women and her closest male relatives and husband get to witness this beauty. Oh, and even with Abaya, you can tell, she's pregnant! Without the Abaya, it's of course even more obvious how very pregnant she is...she's due in September and she'll be having a baby girl! :)

Our team got to have dinner with these dear friends. We chose a restaurant that had family seating. This was requested by our friend, because he wanted a place that would allow us some privacy. In Oman (and other Middle Eastern countries) restaurants tend to have two seating areas. One for men, and one for families. The family seating areas are more private, kind of like our idea of booth seating, but in some places they actually have mini particians that allow for extra privacy for the family dining within them. Another reason one would request this seating arrangement is to also allow for their women guests to feel comfortable (at the very least, having to worry about other less honorable men seeing them) in a more private dining area.

Because I'm me and these two are really the only Omani couple that I know well enough to interact with both of them at the same time, I was really excited and intrigued to see how they showed love for each other. And let me tell you, during dinner, I was very distrought.

He didn't pull out her chair.
She didn't serve him water.
They didn't really make eye contact with each other.
They didn't make any physical contact.
They didn't even really talk to each other...except for providing information to questions we asked.
(I know, these may seem like very shallow examples, but remember, I was trying to boil it down to more obvious "love" sightings)

I mean I enjoyed myself, so I was broken by my findings. The food was amazing. I had an awesome strawberry shake. And I really enjoyed getting to know our Omani even better. We shared about our faiths, we talked about threading. We talked about the coming baby. We learned more Arabic words. Did I mention how wonderful the food was? We also took a few pictures. I'm not going to share them here because I want to respect our friends and posting a picture of our Omani woman friend just wouldn't be appropriate. Sorry guys.

So then we left. We said our good bys and wished them well because this was the evening before they were going to find out the sex of their child. :) Like I said before, she's a girl :).

Then we left. And during the car ride home, I thought and thought. And then at some point during the trip...I cannot remember exactly when...the following convo happend. I'm not even sure these were the exact words, so afford me some creative licsence as I try to remember.

Me: Do you think they love each other?
Chris: Yes they're crazy about each other!
Me: But they didn't even look at each other....

And then we went back and forth as a team about the things that I (and many Westerners like myself) perceive to be cold, mechanical interactions and concluded that the way they were relating to each other was perfectly culturally appropriate. It was totally Omani and completley out of deep respect and love for the other.

And when I thought about it, it was very true.

Our husband friend brought attention to the fact that his wife reads the Qur'an every day. This emphasises the fact that she is very committed and devoted to Allah and that she is very honorable. He had minimal contact with us woman out of respect for her and she the same with our guys. He smiled when talking about her, as did she. And they were in deep conversation with us, their dinner companions. So they were paying us honor by really being completely involved and engaged with each question and thought we directed their way and visa versa.
(Again, this is what I remember, and is still shallow in depth of story details and observation. So friends who were there, if you can remember, please chime in. To the rest of you who weren't there, please trust me when I say, they do love each other.)

So as you can imagine, I was relieved to realize, I was just trying to seeing things through the wrong lense. Cultural Contextualization 101?

So now I'm even applying this new realization to my relationships here at home. I think it's helping some. We'll see how it goes :)

P.S. I'm also in process of learning more about God's love. As my Father, Lover, Friend. As this knowledge grows, I know it'll deeply change how I understand love. It's already begun...excited for more. I think this will also deeply change what I understand "Jesus Culture" to be as well...Fun!